


The Scientist

by kishanta



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: But Not In The Usual Way, F/F, F/M, I will add to this as I think of more, Kind of AU, Kinky sex, M/M, Sans has a dick, Slow Burn, Time Travel, descriptions of violence, flowey is sadistic, gaster is kind of a badster, lots of reliving the game, lots of sexy times after slow burn, real world to video game world, some soul bond stuff, soul sex is a thing here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishanta/pseuds/kishanta
Summary: I thought I was ready for anything, I thought I understood how to make good decisions, I thought I had the right answer to everything, that I had all the consequences figured out. But the truth was, I had absolutely no clue. Turns out, life isn't like a video game, there is no perfect ending. People don't always get to live, you can't avoid every fight, and the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions. Good intentions don't keep people alive, good intentions don't fill someone's belly, and good intentions are not good actions; all of which I learned the hard way.Every decision has a consequence and the biggest decision I made?Well, that would be playing Undertale.The second was staying DETERMINED.That's what let HIM in.But, then again, I never would have met Sans. So in the end, I would do it all again.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Follow this Undertale player who bite of more than she could chew, as she falls into the very video game she had spent weeks playing. Watch as she fights against Gaster's puppet strings in an attempt to do the right thing.Too bad you can't just reload a previous save if things go wrong.Despite what that condescending flower says.
Relationships: Alphys & Undyne (Undertale), Mettaton/Papyrus (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Original Female Character(s), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans/Original Undertale Character(s), Sans/Undertale Player
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	The Scientist

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! This is an idea I came up with a little while ago. I decided to finally post it and see how people like it! If people enjoy it I will continue posting/writing more. 
> 
> This story involves a lot of Gaster fuckery so I hope I can do the characters and story justice. 
> 
> I only posted it on AO3 as Fanfiction.net seems to have a smaller Undertale community, but if it's received well here I will probably cross-post like I do with the rest of my stories.

**~Chapter 1 Start~**

Click, reblog, like. It was a practiced routine everyone knew in her generation now. A funny gif, a silly cat picture, and enough memes to cover up the dystopian anger that plagued the world now. It was a favourite time-waster of mine. Close off your mind, scroll through your phone, and tap tap tap.    
  
Another disgruntled sigh escaped as another piece of artwork portrayed two skeletons and a small brown haired child sharing puns. The taller skeleton growing unnaturally upset by the pair's word play. I had no idea what it was, beyond being a new game. A google search not long ago showed the pixilated simple game I had dismissed as another RPG maker clone.    
  
But the masses of the internet disagreed with me.    
  
‘It’s amazing! The story is so good!’

‘Endlessly funny, with a  **pun** -ishing genocide mode.’

‘Seriously, I cried, I laughed, I sinned, it was  **San** -sational!’   
  
Lots of puns actually, seemed the fandom had adopted them as some sort of secret language only the fans knew, even if the rest of the world got them too.    
  
More yellow flowers, more small children, and the talk of mute-genderqueer main character that had the internet divided into loud sides.    
  
Whatever, skip, scroll, reblog.   
  
My surface thoughts were interrupted as my phone brought up a new text message.

  
  
**Aiden:** Hey, whats up?   
  
**Meadhbh:** Nothin, just on Tumblr, trying to pass the time

**Aiden:** Why don’t you play a game?   
  
**Meadhbh:** Nothing out interests me currently **Aiden:** What about Undertale?   
  
**Meadhbh:** I told you, I’m not really interested in the game

**Aiden:** Your loss, it’s currently cheap to play I’d even get it for you

**Meadhbh:** Don’t bother, I’ll be fine

I let out a sigh and closed the messaging program. Everyone had become  _ insistent  _ about the game. It had started out as a small trickle, niche within its own crowds even. Now it was like an angry grumble that moved under the surface of almost every single conversation. If fandom wasn’t often like this, I would have thought them gripped with obsession. It reminded me of Homestuck in a way, but the fandom was less...eccentric this time around and more...pushy regarding everyone experiencing the game at least once.    
  
Maybe I could give it a try? Just to see what Aiden saw in the game? Just maybe? He was my best friend after all, so there HAD to be something to it.   
  
I wasn’t really vested in playing right now, and as I tapped my phone, scrolling, I wondered if perhaps watching someone else play would be satisfactory, if only so I could enjoy my Tumblr just a bit more.   
  
Excuses drawn up, I switched to my laptop loading up Youtube and typing my query in. Before long, I was watching a young man play the game for the first time ever. I watched idly as a small yellow flower showed up and blabbered on about LOVE and ‘friendliness pellets’ and no, I didn’t miss the quotes around the phrase.    
  
“Who would fall for that?” I scoffed, my phone now forgotten.    
  
The player, apparently. He moved into the white little pellets and the little red heart on the screen flashed with damage. The flower suddenly changed, and laughed with a skull-like appearance jarring me.    
  
Well, that was certainly something. The player then met a goat-person next, and I felt my heart swell and understood why she was dubbed ‘Goat-mom’. They continued on, showing some simple puzzles, and some not so simple puzzles, before Goat-mom disappeared leaving the player with nothing but a phone.    
  
“No! Don’t just attack the first thing you see!” I growled as I pushed my phone away with force.    
  
I was annoyed watching someone else play, the flower’s words echoed in my head and so did Toriel’s. Something else was going on, and with the huge amount of non-lethal options I had become curious, but the player cared little for proper exploration and the gamer within me screamed.    
  
Closing Youtube with a huff I decided it was time for dinner and not time to think about some silly little video game that guy was playing completely  _ wrong _ !

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
I was in bed, the light of my phone illuminating the space as I tried to watch another let’s player, only to feel an itch I couldn’t describe.   
  
Maybe I should just try the game myself?    
  
I started to text Aiden wondering if he could get me a copy, but I felt foolish for my thoughts, so I put down my phone hitting the lock screen and left the message unsent.    
  
I rolled over and closed my eyes, falling into an uneasy dream filled with punning skeletons and glittery pasta. 

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
Flushing to myself once again, I quickly loaded up Steam and pushed yes on my purchase, looking around almost fearfully as if Aiden would suddenly know and appear and mock me for finally breaking.   
  
I felt dirty downloading the game, and I had to scoff at myself and take a quick drink of my water to stop nervous hiccups from appearing. God damn it! I was a grown woman and this was literally a PG13 game of an unsexual nature, yet I was acting like it was porn.    
  
‘Pull yourself together.’ I thought as I squished my heated cheeks and shook my head.    
  
Another breath and I picked up the controller and loaded the newly downloaded game.  
  
The title appeared across the screen after a little prologue, and I hit x as the start option was highlighted. Here we go.

**  
  
~Break~**

Okay, the game wasn’t half bad. I had gotten to Snowdin and really enjoyed Papyrus’ puzzles and Sans’ puns. But, alas, my stomach was growling and I had a paper to write for school. At least I had gotten a few good hours of gaming in and had finished my date with Papyrus, ready to finally leave Snowdin.    
  
A quick check of the time showed I only had a couple of hours at the Library left, so I clicked my laptop shut and decided to get something to eat on the way.

  
  
**~Break~**

  
  
My brain was filled with Moby Dick, the book I was writing a paper on, and I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to the game.    
  
Undertale, wonder if the name meant anything? When I had initially avoided Flowey’s friendliness pellets, he had made a comment about me knowing more than I should, and had even acted like he knew it was a game. It was really well thought out story telling for the creator to think of having characters realize when something was off or changed.    
  
But why? Obviously the creator was leaving huge hints, so did that mean the game’s title meant something as well?    
  
My paper left forgotten, I was back on Tumblr looking up Undertale posts and losing myself to my thoughts.   
  
~Break~   
  
It was late when I finally got home. I had to finish my paper at the coffee shop since I had failed to finish it at the library. It was now beyond late but I couldn’t help but allow myself to be pulled towards my laptop.    
  
I slid off my jacket and sat on my bed, flipping my computer open and loading up Undertale.    
  
Maybe I had a tiny obsession with the game, but I was a bit excited to see how many questions I could get answered before I went to bed.

  
**  
~Break~**

**_Synchronization rate 55%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Error, synchronization parameters not met, further testing required_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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******_Error, LOAD data not found_ **

It was dark when I looked around, but not quite  _ pitch  _ black. There almost seemed to be smoke, the dark whorls swirling around my hand as my straining eyes fought for any sliver of light. If I had to pick a colour, I would call it inky black. It seemed to engulf my body and I had a moment of panic at the thought I was trapped and completely blind.   
  
I stood up and moved forward, wondering where I was, and why. There was no sense in panicking now, maybe I could find a light source, At the idle thought I felt a small pull at my chest and a small purple light started to shine into the darkness, shooting from my chest. 

It helped break away the oppressive nature of the darkness. I could see most of my body now, but parts still disappeared into the thick darkness as the light bobbed away.    
  
“What?” I muttered as a small light flew up from me and shot into the darkness like a small fairy.    
  
Did it want me to follow? The tugging continued and so I ran, following the plum hue, my footfalls landing in almost silent echoes. It was the only light I had, it was the only real hope I had of finding answers.    
  
Soon, I caught up to the small orb and was standing before a large pair of granite doors. I couldn’t see how far up it went, but I could see the small rune etched into the parting of the doors. My fingers dug into the rough rock and I felt myself tracing the pattern fondly. One corner, then two, and finally three. I traced the triangle and followed the pattern of the wings as I hummed in curiosity.    
  
What a strange place.    
  
“Why did you bring me here, huh?” I whispered to the small orb as it danced around my hand, lightly illuminating my face as it bobbed and weaved.    
  
I was startled from my thoughts where I heard a small ‘knock knock!’    
  
“What?” I whispered to myself as I moved towards the door and felt silly.   
  
Did I really hear that?   
  
I pressed my ear against the door and strained to listen. Startled when I heard a slight shuffle from the other end. I moved around the large doors to find no one on the other side. I pressed my ear and there was nothing now.    
  
I laughed at my stupidity, I was hearing things. Moving back to the floating orb I was startled once more by another set of knocks.    
  
Oh. My. God. I had heard knocking! What am I supposed to do?    
  
Hesitantly I pressed my ear against the door and licked my lips.    
  
“Who’s there?” My voice echoed around me and my cheeks started to flush contrasting against the cold granite. Why did I even bother answering the door?   
  
“Super.” A deep voice responded.   
  
That...that couldn’t be his name...wait...was this...a knock-knock joke?   
  
“Super who?” I asked before I could let my mind wander at the dangerous possibilities a knock-knock joke could have.   
  
“I’m  **super** -ised to hear a response to be honest.” The deep voice responded, rumbling with laughter.    
  
Then full blown laughter.   
  
“W-what?” I squeaked as my purple orb flashed with my confusion.    
  
I looked at my purple orb for some kind of guidance, and all I got was a seemingly flash of light I took as a shrug.   
  
“Some help you are guiding orb...thing...” I muttered as I looked at the door now.   
  
Well, I had a few options. Scream and run off, respond with my own knock-knock joke, or ask who the fuck he was, and why he was practicing his knock-knock jokes on my dream door that went to nowhere?    
  
I hesitantly came to a decision and rapped on the door lightly with two knuckles.   
  
“Who’s there?” The deep voice almost sang.   
  
“Justice.” I decided as my tongue began to work again.   
  
I hadn’t quite expected him to respond.   
  
“Justice who?” He responded.   
  
“I’m  **justice** surprised as you are.” I finished.    
  
I wanted a moment, and then another, before I heard a deep rumble. I pressed my ear against the door hard enough to hear my own heartbeat, before I heard a ranchous laughter come through spooking me into pulling away.   
  
“Ha, that one was good, kid.” The voice responded.    
  
I didn’t know what else to say as I sat with my back against the wall.   
  
“Thanks.” I laughed a little as my worries started to slowly disappear.    
  
It wasn’t like whoever that was could get to me, there was no one on the other side of the door after all, I had checked.

**~Break~**

  
  
I awoke with a cold rush, as if someone had doused my veins in ice water as my phone’s alarm blaring and my PS4 controller awkwardly pinned under my arm where I had curled in my sleep. Grumbling I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I looked at the dull-lit screensaver on my laptop. I rubbed at the marks left by the controller painfully with a small frown.   
  
“Right, I had fallen asleep playing...” I muttered as I shook my mouse and saw my ‘Frisk’ sitting in Grillby’s with Sans on a ‘date’.   
  
“Maybe I shouldn’t play video games in bed...” I groaned as I shut my laptop and got ready for class.    
  
As I was packing my bag I realized I also had a shift at the school’s coffee shop, Waves. Stuffing in my apron and uniform, I let out a sad sigh at my PS4 controller.    
  
Poor game would have to wait until tomorrow.

  
  
**~Break~**

  
  
Work was chaos today. I shifted to my left leg as I wiped the hair out of my face and let out a tired sigh. We had finally closed, thirty minutes after regular closing, and I was exhausted. I was almost dead on my feet, a working zombie as I did everything on auto-pilot.    
  
I put up the last chair and wiped the legs down from where some coffee had splattered earlier.    
  
“Alright, I think that’s it, you ready?” My co-worker asked as they shrugged on their backpack.    
  
“Yeah, just let me get my stuff, I’ll meet you at the door.” I smiled as they walked past me and towards the alarm.    
  
I quickly ran towards my cubby and put my own coat on and slung my own bag over one shoulder.    
  
“Let’s do this.” I smiled as my co-worker punched in the code and the tell-tale beeps started signifying our allowed escape.   
  
“See you tomorrow Mae!” They waved, I responded with one of my own before pivoting on my feet and heading home.   
  
Maybe I could  _ sneak _ in an hour of Undertale when I got home? The thought made me smile and I walked slightly faster. 

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
I had gotten into Waterfall and had died several times to the Undyne fight before giving up and going to bed. Wrapped up and warm I let my thoughts wander.    
  
Was it just me, or was Sans almost everywhere in the Underworld? I knew he had been adopted as the franchise's unofficial mascot, but was he really  _ everywhere _ ? If so, how was he everywhere?    
  
The questions would have to wait for my day off tomorrow for the answer. So far, none of my questions had been properly answered, and from how twitter mentioned having to do several runs to get the full story, I doubted I’d be getting any answers soon. 

  
  
**~Break~**

**_Synchronization rate 65%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Error, synchronization parameters not met, further testing required_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Error, LOAD data not found  
_ **   
I was before the door again and sighed. What kind of dream was this? With another sigh I sat down and started to hum a song.    
  
Was nothing going to happen? No disembodied voice? No strange knocks or corny jokes?    
  
“Guess it’s just me and you orby.” I smiled as the orb weaved around my head.    
  
I started to hum a Frozen song to myself getting lost into the strange smokey abyss set out before me.    
  
I was half-way through a hum rendition of ‘In Summer’ when I was startled by two knocks. I had been alone for a little bit and wasn’t quite expecting it at that point.    
  
I shifted from my spot and pressed my face against the doors once more.   
  
“Who’s there?” I asked.   
  
“Hum.” The same voice as yesterday spoke.   
  
I felt a flush and pulled away. Had he heard me? God damn it, why did it matter? At least I wasn’t alone now.    
  
At any other time I’d have been embarrassed, but none of this was real anyways so...   
  
“Hum who?” I asked.   
  
“You have a  **hum** -bling voice, what were you humming?” The voice asked.    
  
I let out a small laugh and heard him follow suit.    
  
“Some silly Disney song,  **donut** worry about it.” I answered with a smug grin.   
  
“Ha,  **sweet** pun.” The voice answered back.   
  
“Always happy to make a door laugh.” I responded.   
  
“A door?” The voice asked.   
  
“Yeah, you’re certainly not  **a jar** .” I barked out a laugh as I held my side.    
  
The voice was silent before I heard another rustle and a small clipped laugh as he realized my joke.   
  
“Where do you think the door goes?” I asked.   
  
“To you?” The voice answered back.   
  
“Ha ha, but it doesn’t, you’ve looked at the other side, the door goes nowhere.” I rolled my eyes.   
  
I was met by silence before more shuffling.   
  
“Huh, so it does.” The voice returned.   
  
“You seriously didn’t bother to check?” I blanched.    
  
“Nah, that woulda meant moving.” Was the lazy response.    
  
“Pfft.” I snorted, my question left forgotten as I felt like I had been dunked in cold water.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
I awoke to my alarm with confusion, I had a day off today, didn’t I? Snatching my phone and unplugging it I realized the alarm I had set was for previous plans I had made. With a groan I peeled my blankets up and quickly pulled my hair into a ponytail, dressing in my running gear.   
  
I had completely forgotten I had agreed to let Aiden photograph my free-running around the city for his school project.    
  
“The things you do for friends...” I muttered as I slipped my feet into my shoes and rushed out the door as I put on deodorant.

**~Break~**

My hands grasped the cement fixture on the building and I pulled myself up into a controlled handstand, before flipping over and running once more. Vaulting over a pipe I rolled down a roof and fell towards a fire escape, catching the railings and throwing myself down with practice precision. We had been at this for about an hour now and I was getting a little winded. Being in University really put a damper on my free-running time.   
  
“I think that’s good Mae, same time when winter starts? I’m getting this new lense I’ve been  _ dying  _ to use in the snow.” Aiden declared as he flipped through the photos on his camera.   
  
“Nice, can I take a look?” I asked as I took the bag he was holding and pulled out a water bottle and towel.    
  
“Tsk, you know the rules sugar, no peeking until I’ve been able to edit.” He tutted me as he turned his camera off.   
  
“Yeah yeah.” I sighed as I pressed the towel against my drenching face and neck.    
  
“I’ll see you at the school’s next show, yes?” He asked with a quick hug.   
  
“Hungry wolves wouldn’t be able to keep me away.” I smiled.

  
  
**~Break~**

  
  
I had finally beaten Undyne after losing to her for over an hour, and was now finishing my date with her. I couldn’t help the adorable realization that she was possibly the coolest character in the game so far. I put the controller down and stretched out my neck as I pondered if I should continue to Hotland, or take a small break. I quickly saved and decided Hotland could wait for the rest of my weekend tomorrow.   
  
Turning on an episode of Brooklyn Nine-nine I made myself a pot of tea and nestled under my covers as I watched the episode detailing Jake and Amy’s honeymoon.   
  
I sipped at the scorching tea and let out a pleased hum as the heat slipped down my throat tingling my spine and I let out a shiver. I was tired, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn off the light and close my eyes.   
  
I didn’t really want to sleep. Ever since my father died I had been having nothing but nightmares. The subsequent psychological diagnosis’ that followed twisted my gut; I was broken, so what was the point of trying? Aiden was my only real friend, the only person who really mattered to me now. He didn’t expect much from me which made the whole thing...easy.   
  
But lately...the dreams were almost quiet. Perhaps if I hadn’t been having nightmares they might have scared me.    
  
But they didn’t, they were almost comforting.    
  
For the first time in forever I was kind of excited to sleep. I took another sip of my tea and smiled. The nameless voice was in some ways a godsend.    
  
But a bit more T.V. before bed couldn’t hurt wither, and so I burrowed deep into my covers with a small smile. 

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
**_Synchronization rate 75%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization above tested average, further testing required_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Error, LOAD data not found_ **

Well, it wasn’t another nightmare thank god. I sat down by the same door and waited for the knocking.    
  
This time I didn’t have to wait long and I quickly answered.   
  
“Who’s there?” I asked, trying to not sound as excited as I felt.   
  
“Adore.” The voice spoke, sounding humoured.   
  
“Adore who?”    
  
“ **Adore** is between us, open up!”    
  
I swore I almost heard a ba-dum-pish! As the voice started to laugh.   
  
“Aww that was a- **door** -able.” I responded as the laughter became harder.    
  
“Nice one.” The voice laughed harder.    
  
“Thanks.” I smiled as I started to pick at my fingers, my orb friend floating almost gleefully by the door.    
  
“So...uh...any idea what a dream with a door means?” I asked realizing this dream was going longer than the usual few puns we could utter to one another.   
  
“That you want to stay in? Or go out?” The voice asked.    
  
I heard another shuffle and a slight rattle and realized whoever it was probably had sat down against the door.   
  
“Do you have any idea?” They asked.   
  
“That I play too many video games and my dreams are messed up?” I asked.   
  
“You assume this is your dream.” The voice asked after a moment of silence.   
  
“Whose else would it be?” I asked, a smile tugging at my lips.   
  
“Mine, I am the king of knock-knock jokes. Would make sense for me to dream about a door. You?”   
  
“No idea to be honest, but since I wake up and still exist this kind of has to be my dream.” I grumbled with a roll of my eyes.    
  
“If you say so.” The voice sang.   
  
“Bah, whatever Mr. Knock-Knock.” I grumbled.   
  
“Is that my name now?” Mr. Knock-Knock asked with a bark of laughter.   
  
“You sound male and I have no idea what your name is, so yeah.” I grumbled at my logic.   
  
“Then I guess I’ll just call you  **Door** -een,” He laughed, “since you sound like a female and I have no idea what  _ your  _ name is.”    
  
“Ugh, worst nickname ever...” I muttered, covering my face with my hands in embarrassment.    
  
“Could be worse, coulda chosen  **Door** -a.” He laughed again.

**  
  
~Break~**

  
  
I would never get used to the cold rush that accompanied those dreams when I awoke. I shivered and shook myself from the lingering sleep and looked at my phone. It was 1:00 p.m. mkays, I slept in just a little bit.    
  
Deciding to make some tea and cereal, I quickly got everything ready and trudged back to my room, ready to start my day of gaming.    
  
Launching the game up I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. This game had a certain appeal to it I couldn’t put my finger on. 

  
  
**~Break~**   
  


**_Synchronization rate 85%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization above tested average, further testing required_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Error, LOAD data not found_ **

I was back at the door again and wondered how I had managed to fall asleep playing a game twice now.    
  
I took a seat against the door and waited patiently, drumming my fingers on my knees as I waited. He wasn’t along as quick this time and I found myself passing the time talking to my orb.   
  
“Wonder why I’m here, any ideas orby?” I asked my purple friend.    
  
“Where do you think it goes?” I mused, “who do you think that guy is? He kind of sounds like a Tyrone, or maybe a Jeff? Nah none of those seem to fit.”    
  
My orb seemed to bounce in agreement that the names I had chosen didn’t fit him.   
  
“Still, a dream about nothingness and a door beats having nightmares I guess.”    
  
“You get them too?”   
  
I jumped at the voice and hastily moved to face the door, as if that somehow mattered.   
  
“Yeah...ever since my, uh, dad passed...” I grimaced, what the hell kind of comment was that? “Not that it’s a big deal or anything, twas forever ago even.”   
  
When had he arrived?    
  
Was he there the whole embarrassing time?   
  
“Twas?” He laughed.   
  
“Shut up! I’m obviously embarrassed!” I flustered.    
  
“Don’t worry kid,  _ twas  _ cute.” He was still laughing and I let out an indignant huff.   
  
“Whatever doorman...”   
  
“What are they about?” He asked after a moment.   
  
“Everything is...gone...someone or something is after me and everyone who tries to help me dies...” I almost whispered.   
  
“Sorry to hear that.”   
  
“Me too...” I agreed as I twisted my fingers around one another.   
  
I wanted to ask, the question was already itching me.   
  
“What are your nightmares about?” The words slipped out before I could stop them.   
  
I was met with silence and feared I went too far, but I heard a faint shuffle before a small sigh.   
  
“Everyone dies and I can’t stop it,” He simply says, “over and over again.”   


I wasn’t sure what to do so I did the only thing I could think of.   
  
I knocked on the door twice.   
  
“Heh, who’s there?” He asked.   
  
“Ice.” I softly whispered, my fingers picking at the door.   
  
“Ice who?”   
  
“I hope you have  **ice** dreams from now on.” I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading.   
  
He was laughing now, our demons forgotten. 

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
Class was rather dull today, but fast paced. It was coming to the end of the semester which meant more work, and less gaming.    
  
So I stayed late in the school Library finishing a few papers in the hopes I could play even a little bit.    
  
But time was not on my side, and as I glanced at my phone, I realized it was time to go home and finish there.    
  
There wouldn’t be any gaming tonight boo.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
It was almost 2:00 a.m. when I had finished the first draft of my paper, and with a tired sigh I realized I had an 11:00 a.m. class and had to go to bed so I wasn’t dead on my feet tomorrow.    
  
Closing my laptop I moved from my desk and changed into a loose shirt and snuggled into my bed.   
  
Would he be there again?    
  
The thought almost excited me and I couldn’t help the large smile that settled on my face as I fell into the darkness of sleep.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
**_Synchronization rate 95%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization above tested average, further testing required_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Error, LOAD data not found_ **

It had started to become a routine to go to sleep and talk with him. We never shared names, perhaps he had as much fear in his soul as I did. The orb pulsated with the beat of my heart and I wondered what such a thing could mean in a dream.    
  
The knocking started and I was excited and quickly answered.   
  
“Who’s there?” I asked my tone slightly louder than usual.   
  
“Knot.   
  
“Knot who?”   
  
“I can- **knot** believe you are still here.” He laughed.   
  
“Me neither, I figured dreams like this would have ended forever ago.” I laughed with him.   
  
“It’s strange, I’m not used to having someone to, well, talk to.” He responded honestly.   
  
“Me neither, but since we are here...what do you want to talk about before I wake up?” I asked as I tapped my fingers against the door.   
  
“Hmm, is it dark where you are as well?” He asked.   
  
What an odd question, but then I realized I wasn’t sure if we were even in the same space, all I could do was hear him.   
  
“Yup, I’d a- **void** it if I could but sadly it's all I seem to be able to find.” I joked back as it took him a moment.   
  
“Void huh? Such an interesting choice of words.”   
  
“I would have said abyss but I couldn’t think of a pun that would work.” I sighed honestly as my shoulders shook with mirth.   
  
He laughed with me until we both fell into an easy silence. This was probably the longest dream we’ve had together.    
  
“Hey, d’ya mind if I asked you something weird?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.    
  
“Sure...” I trailed off getting slightly nervous.    
  
I mean, what was the worst a dream-question could do? The knock-knock joke was harmless after all.   
  
“Hey now, it’s nothing weird or creepy, I just wanted to know if you’ve ever seen the night sky.”    
  
He seemed nervous to ask and all I could think was ‘what the fuck?’   
  
“I mean, yeah sure I have, why?” I asked.   
  
“Could you describe it to me?” was his hesitant response.    
  
“Uh, I mean sure, I can try.” I swallowed as I tried to think of how to describe it.   
  
“Heh, I know, it’s probably weird of me to ask...” He was trailing off now and I was desperate to keep him here talking so I wasn’t alone.   
  
“N-no it’s ok, I just wasn’t expecting it, what kind of night sky do you wanna hear about?”    
  
“Can you start with the stars?”    
  
Stars huh? Where to begin...   
  
“Well, I guess I’ll start by describing how they look and then, if you’d like, we can discuss whatever I happen to know about them?”   
  
“Heh, sounds good kid.”

  
**  
~Break~**

I had slept in past my alarm for the first time in...well...forever. Thankfully I had just managed to make the bus so I’d get to class on time.   
  
I didn’t want to leave my dream it seemed. We had spent the entire time discussing different constellations after I had done a subpar job at describing them.    
  
_ Although, he didn’t seem to mind. _ _  
_ _  
_ I was endlessly curious as to why he had even asked. Had he never properly seen it? Was he locked away somewhere? Or was he truly a stranded piece of my dreams?   
  
I was too afraid to ask, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t have told me if I had.    
  
Opening up my first class’ textbook, I got ready to get through my long day of classes.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
Today’s classes were brutal. All I wanted to do was nap, which was ridiculous, I had slept for a long time last night.    
  
I was broken from my daydreaming of being curled up in bed by Aiden as he called out my name and caught up with me. 

“Hey, Mae, you wanna hit the pub tonight? I know you have some afternoon classes, but the photography students are off for the rest of the week to finish this semester's project, you in?” Aiden asked as he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.    
  
“Just you and me or is Kai going to be there too?” I asked with a feline grin.   
  
“Maybe...but it’s not a date or anything, you wouldn’t be a third wheel.” Aiden waved off as he hooked arms with me.   
  
“Whatever you say Aiden, I’ll go for a bit ok?” I agreed, deciding a few drinks couldn’t hurt.    
  
“Fantastic, let’s go!” He sang as he steered us towards the campus pub. 

**~Break~**

  
  
I wasn’t sure why I was there. I didn’t really care for socializing not since...don’t think about it Meadhbh, not now, not while you’re out with smiling happy people.    
  
So I plastered a fake smile and ordered a shot. It was going to be ok, I was with friends and was supposed to be having fun, not thinking of painful pasts.   
  
“Tequila? Wow you’re going hard right out the gate.” Aiden laughed as he squeezed my shoulder and brought me toward his boyfriend Kai.    
  
“Hey Kai, how’s your Kinesiology class going?” I asked as I sat down as Aiden placed a Porn Star cocktail infront of me with a wink.   
  
“Killer, the Professor doesn’t want us to use calculators.” He sighed.    
  
Kai was a rather large fellow with dark brown hair cut short on his head. He was muscular, which made sense as he was studying to become a Physiotherapist. He dwarfed Aiden who was the lithe and flamboyant compared to Kai. They had been going out for about a year now and had become sickening adorable.   
  
“Sounds rough, but you’re pretty good at math yeah?” I asked remembering last year he had taken a math course as a prereq for his Kinesiology class. That’s actually where he met Aiden, who had been studying to be an engineer before switching to photography. 

‘I love numbers, but couldn’t stand the rest. Photography lets me be creative however I wish.’ he had said as he tossed his father's angry letter in the trash with a shrug. ‘Dad’s already mad I’m gay, so what harm will this do?’    
  
“Yup, but the rest of the class is struggling. They weren’t kidding when they said he was a tough prof.” Kai sighed as he took a sip of his beer.   
  
“Kai also has my help, so he’s been doing fine. Been bringing up the curve.” Aiden boasted as he leaned in close and took a sip of my drink.   
  
“Hey!” I complained as I swiped my drink away from him.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
“Did I ever tell you that Meadhbh was a teenage pop star?” Aiden slurred.   
  
“Only a hundred times, Aiden. But I wasn’t a pop star, I was just becoming a popular singer.” I scoffed as I waved him off.   
  
“Yes and we all know the sad tale of our almost pop star who lost her dad during her first solo hitting the charts and first concert selling out. But alas her father was coming from out of town during a snowy winter day and was hit by a drunk driver ending her start before it began.” Kai slurred with an eye roll.   
  
“Wow what a nonchalant way of explaining my trauma.” I laughed as I signaled for another drink.   
  
“The world moved on and it’s like she was never famous, or at least almost famous.” Kai shrugged as he gave me a wink.   
  
“Thank god, could you imagine me living that life? Ugh no thanks.” I shuddered as the waitress brought me over another drink.   
  
“Do you ever still sing?” Kai asked.   
  
“For myself in the shower, but not much else. School takes up most of my time anyways.” I shrugged.    
  
I had decided on a lit major instead, transferring my ability to write to something a bit less stressful to keep up. Mostly anyways, school was brutal and being able to weave words together to make a song wasn’t quite enough to help me breeze by, but I loved it all the same and worked hard.   
  
“She also does karaoke, and she KILLS it!” Aiden boasted as he spilled some of his drink. “Whoopsies.”    
  
“We should go sometime.” Kai smiled.   
  
“Sure, just pick a day during our next break and I’m all yours.” I returned his smile.   
  
“Unfair! You just say yes the first time he asks, but your best friend has to beg?” Aiden whined.   
  
“Yup!” I chirped, taking another sip of my drink, enjoying my victory over my best friend.

**~Break~**

  
  
**_Synchronization rate 100%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization parameters met_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Stay DETERMINED_ **

I was asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. I had gotten pretty drunk as the night progressed. Aiden and Kai had the ability to make me forget a lot of my problems and actually have fun. I was beyond lucky to have them.   
  
I was met with the same pressure of the endless black that met me every night. It had almost become comforting, in a weird purgatory kind of way. I wobbled as I moved towards the door and sat down. The bleery purple light from my orb caused me to fall as the world turned sideways.   
  
“How am I still drunk in my dream?” I giggled as I batted towards the orb lazily. “You, orb, come over here.”    
  
It didn’t heed my request and instead bobbed around my head as I let out a dizzy sigh.    
  
I started to hum the song that was playing at the bar when I had left. It had gotten stuck in my head again, since the week I had first heard it.   
  
“Can you hear me? S.O.S. Help me put my mind to rest. Two times clean again, I’m acting low, a pound of weed, and a bag of blow.” I started to sing softly.    
  
I didn’t sing often anymore, last night was honestly the first time I had agreed to sing in front of others without complaint. I had missed it.   
  
“I can feel your love pullin’ me up from the underground, and, I don’t need my drugs, we could be more than just part-time lovers. I can feel your touch, picking me up from the underground, and, I don’t need my drugs, we could be more than just part-time lovers.”   
  
I started to bob my head as I felt the memory of the music tingling through my spine. I began to sway my body as I felt it fill me up and hummed the melody to fill the silence.    
  
“We could be more than just part-time lovers.”    
  
I heard movement from the door for a second and pressed my ear against the cool stone. I heard nothing further and snorted to myself. Of course I was hearing things, I was drunk as a skunk.   
  
“We could be more than just part-time lovers,” I continued, softer this time, starting to sway again as I felt the next verse coming up. “I get robbed of all my sleep, as my thoughts begin to bleed. I’d let go but I don’t know how, yeah, I don’t know how but I need to now.”    
  
I took a deep soothing breath before I began the next chorus.   
  
“I can feel your love pullin' me up from the underground, and, I don't need my drugs, we could be more than just part-time lovers. I can feel your touch pickin' me up from the underground, and, I don't need my drugs, we could be more than just part-time lovers.” I took another breath as I readied for the last of the chorus. “I can feel your touch pickin' me up from the underground, and, I don't need my drugs, we could be more than just part-time lovers.”   
  
This time I was sure I heard movement and smirked slightly. Fine, if he wanted to listen in without letting me know, then he can get a show.    
  
“We could be,” I started taking the octave up and pushing as much passion into it as I could. “We could be more than just part-time lovers. Yeah, more than lovers, yeah, we could be more than part-time lovers”   
  
I took a moment to keep humming the melody as I pressed closer to the door for the last part of the song. I brought my voice to a hushed breathey tone, but kept my chords steady with an old technique, keeping them open in an almost yawn.   
  
“Can you hear me? S.O.S. Help me put my mind to rest.” I finished and waited a few moments, but heard no further movement.   
  
“Can you hear me?” I asked this time without singing.   
  
“S.O.S?” He responded as I laughed.   
  
“How long were you going to let me go on for?” I asked as my cheeks started to warm up, already red and blotchy from the booze.   
  
“I dunno, maybe if you started to suck.” I could almost audibly hear his shrug.   
  
I burst out laughing, unsure why, but feeling it was appropriate.   
  
“You certainly are something else.” I whispered with a huge grin.   
  
“Heh, you have no idea kid. So what was that song? Yours?”   
  
“Nah, just a recent release from a songwriter and DJ who recently passed away.” I answered with a small shrug.    
  
“Too bad, it was nice.”    
  
“Yeah, but at least we have the music he made till now.” I smiled as I remembered the day the newslines had announced his passing.   
  
It was a hard day for a lot of people, and I couldn’t believe it that someone I had seen as so strong was suddenly just gone. It made the world seem so much smaller.

  
**  
~Break~**

  
  
I awoke with a splitting headache and wanted to shoot myself for drinking that much. With a cottonmouth I cleared my throat with a cough and struggled towards my kitchen to get some water as well as some advil. Grabbing my magic girl mug I filled it up and sighed in relief as the cool liquid washed down.    
  
“Much better.” I said, my voice slightly cracking.    
  
It had been a long time since I sang for someone, even though it wasn’t intentional and was in a dream. It made me feel giddy and like a child again. When I had stopped singing I replaced it with running, and then freerunning when I found it no longer satisfying to keep pushing myself. It wasn’t the healthiest to literally run from your problems, but it worked so I wasn’t going to complain.   
  
I opened my phone to find several texts from Aiden confirming I made it home alright and wasn’t wrecked for the day. I quickly sent him a text saying I hated him but I was fine before plugging it in and deciding to take a shower.

**~Break~**

  
I hadn’t bothered to dress after my shower, opting to settle into bed and play Undertale instead. I was now in Alphy’s lab and learning more about SOULS and how they had been trying for so long to escape their prison. I was being directed into Hotland now and snorted at the name once more; original. 

This game was surprisingly long. For the price, and the graphical quality, I expected a lot less. I could see the appeal and why it had become a cult hit so fast. I had checked out Wikipedia a few times seeing a few mentions of some weird cult in the game the developer hadn’t fully coded in. Within some of the games code they discovered unenterable rooms, unused script, and a strange pixelated picture of a broken skull with a slanted grin. 

It made me wonder if I could find out anything others had missed in my own play through, so I became meticulous with exploring everything. The game had dark corners hidden beneath childish puns and kind hearted souls. I felt a drive to figure out the puzzle laid bare before me. It was almost all consuming, like singing had been, like freerunning was. 

It was hard to remember that all the monsters in the underground had spent years hunting human children for their freedom. They all seemed so inclined to kindness, with an almost innocent appeal. Were they always like this? Or was it merely preservation? Then there was that unsettling tweet Toby had released a few months ago. Someone had tweeted what if Toby was trying to warn us with something inside his own code, since others had noticed how much coding the game actually had for what it was. It was hefty, heavy with almost repetitive lines strung together intricately so that without even one little line the whole game would fall apart. Like he wanted to make sure nothing could be removed during distribution. 

Toby had responded to the tweet, which had since been deleted, with three words:  _ ‘Gaster is here.’ _   


The replacing tweet was an embarrassing comment that he wasn’t really someone who knew how to code games, so he just did his best and this was his result; a perfect storm of messy code. 

But it still made me think, what if Toby was trying to warn the players? 

I shook my head at the silly thought; what could he possibly need to warn anyone about? So I decided to ignore it as a PR stunt and continued playing untiIl finally met Mettaton; talk about flashy. 

**~Break~**

**_Synchronization rate 100%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization parameters met_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Stay DETERMINED_ **

I found myself at our usual hangout; the door. I could already hear him practicing knock-knock jokes.

“Keeping busy huh?” I laughed as I interrupted a knock-knock joke about snow. 

“You know me, couldn’t  **stand** to be lazy.” he started.

“Oh no-“ I started as he cut me off.

“So I sit instead.” 

“Tch, see, I’d be more impressed if that one wasn’t so bad.” I chuckled as he joined me.

“What can I say, I’m bad to the  **bone** .” There was a moment of silence before he started laughing.

“I think that joke fell a little flat on my side of the door.” I sighed with a small smile.

“I guess that joke needs a visual huh?” He chuckled in response. 

“Probably, not that I’d know, say...what’s it like where you’re from?” I asked.

“You mean if I’m real?” The laughter was evident in his voice.

“Humor me.” I sighed.

“Heh, humor, alright...it’s snowy where I live, like, all the time. It’s not bad, the cold doesn’t bug me as much as it does others so can’t complain.” I heard the shuffle of clothing and assumed he was shrugging. 

“Do you like it?” I pressed further, curious about my dream-mate.

“It’s not the place I’d choose to be if I had any say.” He sighed.

“Sounds unfortunate, if I ever find out if you’re real we should make sure you can visit. It’s usually pretty warm here, in the summer anyways.” I shrugged as I scratched at a portion of the door.

“Heh, sounds good kid.” He answered after a moment's silence. 

“Is it dark a lot there? I know that Alaska can get really dark around certain times of the year.” I mused as I pressed my ear against the door.

“You could say that I guess. I wouldn’t call it dark no, but we don’t get to see the sky so sort of?” You could hear a small scratching noise like smooth stone against rough stone. 

“Don’t get to see the sky? Gees no wonder you wanna leave. What’s keeping you there?” I dug further. 

“...I guess you could say I’m staying out of familial obligation.” He was shifting now and I could tell I had made him feel uncomfortable. 

“I get that, not that I really know what that’s like. It’s just me.” I shrugged helplessly against the cool rock against my back.

“You said your father had passed away?” 

“Yeah, pretty much forever ago. We weren’t close with his family. They weren’t keen on him taking sole custody of a teenage mistake.” Another shrug as I pressed out the practiced words. 

It was always easier to pretend the things you held deepest in your heart didn’t wound you. 

“Sounds silly, to be angry he decided to be your father.” He bit out, his tone turning harsh and frigid. 

“I always thought so too, but I never met his family so I guess I never really had to deal with that possible pain. It’s just...people I share DNA with.” 

“Beats having a father who stuck around but didn’t want you.” He chuckled, although it was devoid of humour and felt sharp and angry. 

“I-”

**~Break~**

I awoke shooting up with sweat as I felt the cold wash crash over me. I had fallen asleep again playing, this time at least comfortably tucked into bed. I realized what had woken me up was an immense urge to pee.

“Another moment spoiled by my bladder.” I laughed as I rushed towards my bathroom. 

**~Break~**

I spent most of my early morning wake up making breakfast and musing over the conversation I had had with my Dream Man last night. He sounded so guarded every time we talked, even when he was opening up he still seemed so far away. 

I ground my teeth annoyed my bladder had ruined such a deep conversation. I had started to see cracks forming in his front, we were becoming slow friends, and as stupid as that seemed when he wasn’t even  _ real _ I still cherished it. 

It had been a long time since I had made a friend, and this one was all mine. No liking a different friend more, no hearing rumours or secret whispers before ghosting. No queries about my almost fame, or potential fortune; of which I didn’t have if it wasn’t obvious by now. 

Someone who wasn’t bored about my pain. Someone who didn’t seem to expect the years to heal me in full as if losing someone you loved so dearly could ever be resolved. 

Many people my age had the luxury of never having to experience such a loss until much later. They didn’t want to hear my sadness when it would interrupt their joyous days. So I just didn’t. 

But  _ he _ let me talk about it, no judgement, no irritation. He was fully invested, and the only anger he dared show was at how I had been left behind by those who were supposed to love and cherish me most. 

I scoffed, look at me getting dreamy eyed over a man I had never seen, nor could I actually meet. Shaking my head I pulled the pan holding my fried eggs off the stove and switched the burner off. 

Filling my plate I ignored the buzzing of my phone to focus on my breakfast and inner thoughts. 

Today was most definitely a ‘laze-around-in-bed’ day. 

**~Break~**

I had spent most of my day finishing up Hotland. It wasn’t the most exciting, since I had spent an hour on the Mettaton fight because I was so damn  _ curious  _ about all the ways I could potentially do the fight and gather pieces of the answers I craved. 

I was almost excited for bedtime, taking my meds religiously for the first time in months, wanting to actually  _ stay  _ asleep. 

I wanted every moment I could have with him. It felt selfish, but I kept reminding myself he wasn’t actually real, so it was ok to covet him as my own little secret. 

My own little sanctuary. 

**~Break~**

**_Synchronization rate 100%_ **

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**_Establishing parameters_ **

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**_Synchronization parameters met_ **

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**_Error, Player data insufficient_ **

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**_Error, LOAD data not found_ **

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**_< Skip LOAD check>_ **

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**_Preliminary tests show a 75% match_ **

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**_Stay DETERMINED_ **

“Hey, every night I go to sleep I find myself here...if you’re real, is it the same for you or?” I asked after we had finished our usual knock-knock greeting.

“If I’m real?” He laughed.

“Hey, we don’t have enough data to suggest otherwise.” I tsk’d

“Well, I’m not sure about your data then but, for what it's worth, yes I do end up here every night. It’s a rather nice reprieve from nightmares.” He answered as if it were all too obvious.

“I hear that,” I laughed, “I kind of look forward to our talks every night, I’m kind of rooting for you to be real.”

“Is that so?” He inquired.

“Yeah, it would be kind of nice to have a charming fellow gracing your dreams every night scaring away all the monsters under your bed.” I shrugged, feeling soberingly honest.

“Monsters under your bed? Now why would you keep them there if you are trying to get a restful sleep.” He laughed, ignoring my almost admission to being attached to a figment of my imagination.

“Hey, it’s a saying, sue them not me.” I scoffed.

“If you say so.” He responded with a sing-song tone.

There were a few moments of silence before I knocked on the door, but got no response. 

He must be awake then, phooey. I frowned as I realized that didn’t make sense. How could he be awake if he was a figment of my imagination?

He was, wasn’t he? 

Of course he was, this was just my brain dreaming and dealing with the day, which meant he left for some scientifically explained reason. Cause dreams.

Right?

**~Chapter 1 End~**


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